So was what you went through even a trauma?

Some people feel like trauma is a term thrown around way too often. I often wonder if this is because society can’t handle the fact that most of us have probably had at least one trauma or major stressor happens to us, and many of us had this happen to us in childhood. Now pause reading for a minute…think about your own life. You probably can name at least one experience that was a big deal, and maybe left you with intense anger, tears, and hurt. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks it wasn’t a big deal. At the end of the day, you, and only you, get to decide if it was traumatic. 

One of the ways that we heal is that we validate and normalize the symptoms that we experience as a result of trauma. Childhood trauma can have an impact years after the event, even into adulthood. This happens because trauma impacts a person's nervous system, meaning that it impacts the way in which we respond to others and the world around us. This is why people who’ve had a rough childhood often go on to become adults who continue to have chaotic lives. Think about your own life right now. Do you struggle with your finances, have mind blocks, have relationship struggles, or lack a sense of fulfillment? It might be related to an inner child wound. These are all things we can address together in therapy.

It is important to remember that not everyone's experiences are the same and trauma can impact people in many different ways. Even if you don’t see your pain point on this list, call me because I may have worked with your specific situation. I can give you an honest answer if I think it is something within my wheelhouse, or at the very least I can point you in the right direction. Below are some common examples of childhood traumas that I often work with in my online therapy practice.

Common things addressed in Inner Child & Trauma Therapy in Phoenix & San Diego (All of CA & AZ)

• Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)

  • CSA is unfortunately a common occurrence for many people. Childhood sexual abuse is a boundary violation on a person’s body. This can have a tremendous impact on a person causing mental health disorders such as PTSD, depression, or anxiety. Even if it is brought to the attention of adults or if support for the child is provided, the impacts of this trauma can have long-lasting impacts on a person. As an adult, these impacts can range from struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries, depression or anxiety, or trouble forming healthy secure relationships, particularly around sex and intimacy.  

• Childhood Physical Abuse & Neglect

  • Physical abuse and neglect in childhood can impact a person's ability to have a healthy connection to their own feelings and issues with conflict. For example, people will often grow up struggling with people-pleasing or struggling with managing and coping with their anger. 

• Children Who had Emotionally Immature or Unavailable Parents

  • Adults that experienced having an emotionally immature or unavailable parent(s) often end up struggling with being able to rest and not feel the need to be the helper to everyone in their adult lives. Oftentimes these people struggle with being able to rely on others or allow others to care for them.

• Adult Children of Alcoholics

  • This often translates into an adult who might struggle with substance abuse themselves or they might look to other non-healthy ways of coping such as becoming a workaholic. In therapy, we spend time exploring the messages that this trauma gave us and how we can let go of what no longer serves us.

• Adults and Children of Parents with Narcissistic Traits & Borderline Traits

  • This can be really tough for people in therapy to work on. Adult children will struggle with accepting that their parents were not able to work on their own healing. This should not be an excuse for the trauma that they endured as a child. Adult children of narcissists and borderline will often struggle with relational issues as adults.

• Medical Traumas & Accidents

  • Going through a childhood illness, such as cancer or physical disability, can have a huge mental impact on a child. They might struggle with fears of being ill or near death, the guilt and shame of family support during their trauma, or bullying. These struggles of shame and guilt can often continue into their adult lives.

• Living with Autism or ADHD

  • Growing up with a neurodivergent brain can lead to some difficult moments simply because this world is not designed for those with neurodivergent brains. Often, kiddos will struggle with socializing, academics, or being able to complete everyday activities. This can lead to poor confidence, feelings of being an outsider, or low self-esteem. This is especially the case for those who weren’t diagnosed with Autism or ADHD until they are adults because they often went under the radar without the proper resources. In my online California and Arizona therapy practice, I often work with people by addressing their inner self-critics to help them live their best lives without a diagnosis or label getting in the way.

• “little t” Traumas Such as Frequent Moves or Divorce

  • As a trauma therapist, I can help people with devastating, often life-threatening, traumas. However, in my therapy practice, I also work with those who have gone through what is commonly known as “little t” traumas. Despite their name, “little t” traumas are impactful and can have lasting effects. I give space for all traumas, both big and small. Because at the end of the day we all deserve our pain to be taken seriously and handled with care. A common “little t” trauma that I often work with in my online practice is those who have gone through a divorce. Many would say it is a bad experience to go through but not traumatic. I beg to differ. Divorce is something I work with people on processing, whether it was themselves who got divorced or even if it happened decades ago to their parents as a child. Divorce often impacts the way people see themselves and the world around them. Oftentimes, it can leave us with a hurt that needs to be processed so that we can heal and live our lives more fully. That is where I can help.

As an online therapist treating people all over California and Arizona, I have worked with countless people who have experienced a wide range of childhood traumas affecting and harming their inner child. Inner child work is deep work that can be difficult for many people because it takes a great deal of courage to be able to explore wounds we have not acknowledged for years. But if you are ready for it,  inner child wound work is something that is one of my favorite things to work on in therapy. It truly creates lasting change. It can help you grow in your awareness and live your life in a more beautiful, authentic way. Now isn’t that something worth going to therapy for?

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