1. Say no more often to reduce anxiety.

From someone who deep down sometimes feels like saying no is a bad word, saying no is life-changing. It is hard in the beginning, but I promise you that it will get easier. Anxiety is stressed about the future. Now, I am not saying to say no because something makes you anxious just thinking about it, but what I am saying is to say no so that you have more space for your priorities.
Fun fact, did you know that work priority is actually in its truest form means: one thing that is important? That’s right, one thing. Yet it is commonplace in our culture to have a list of priorities. Heck, even my daily to-do list pad on my desk has space for five priorities. Like what? Instead, we can practice one priority. For the hour, day, week, or season in your life. Saying no frees up space and can really help reduce anxiety.
Most people say that family is their priority but how often do we put work first? We will plan our lives around work and family gets the leftover version of us.

2. Have a plan and reassess that plan every few months to reduce anxiety.

Planning is important for people who are prone to being anxious. Honestly, everyone can benefit from planning their life a bit, but we don’t want to overdo it. Have a sit down with yourself and ask yourself where you want to be in five years, then work backward. How about in 1 year? How about in 3 months? How about in a week? Small measurable goals will add up to that bigger goal you have for five years down the road.

Is your goal to deepen your yoga practice? To start a business? To write a book? This way of planning can help you keep anxiety manageable so that you can focus on living your life.

3. Work on separating and knowing the difference between ruminating and reflecting to reduce anxiety.

Going over and over the things of your past is not healthy and can increase your anxiety about the future. Going over a pain that happened in the past, thinking about what you have learned about yourself or others is healthy and can help reduce anxiety. This is the difference between ruminating and reflecting.

People who struggle with anxiety often struggle with rumination. It is super common with social engagements, where people feel like they “behaved poorly” and then worry about future events where people might reject them. It really can be a vicious cycle. Therapy can help. Reach out to learn about how therapies like EMDR can help you overcome anxiety.

4. Surround yourself with people who are good for you to reduce anxiety.

Making friends is hard, and making good friends can feel impossible. You are not alone, loneliness is something that has been impacting people more and more, especially after the pandemic. In my therapy practice, this is a common struggle for my clients. Surrounding yourself with healthy people will help your mind and body to relax. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best side, people who have a life you are working towards, a group where you feel like you belong.

5. Create a morning routine to reduce anxiety.

The first few hours of your day can really set up the vibe of the whole day. Learn what works for you and create a morning routine to help you really ease into the day. For me, I have to walk my dog in the morning, because getting my body moving is something that really helps me wake up and mentally plan for what I want the day to look like. I also make it a point to wake up on time to eat breakfast with my husband, even though I can sleep in since I start work much later than he does. But eating breakfast with my husband really improves my mood and helps me to feel more connected because a value of mine is quality time with family.

6. Create a nighttime routine to reduce anxiety.

Sleep is so important for our mental health and overall well-being. Sleep allows our brains and bodies to heal and prepare for the next day. Our brain is a muscle, sleep is crucial for recovery. Having poor sleep can really spike anxiety. Decide what time you need to go to bed to get the hours of sleep you need, most adults need between 7-9. Start your nighttime routine well before that bedtime so that you have space to unwind and prepare for bed.

Try not to do anything too exciting before bed. Like exercise, watching the news, or having big-topic conversations with your partner. I use the word exciting because that is what happens to the brain, it lights up. A good bedtime routine is a transition to calming down as you prepare to rest.

7. Work on being okay with others having their feelings to reduce anxiety.

Boundaries is something I often work with people on establishing to help them improve their anxiety. But it is hard work. The biggest thing I notice is that people struggle with other people's feelings.

It is okay for other people to be bummed because you said no. That is okay. But if you are a fellow recovering people pleaser, it can feel like the hardest thing in the world. Repeat after me, you are not a bad person for saying no.

8. Stop a few times a day and check in with yourself to reduce anxiety.

Mini check-ins with yourself is a game changer when you are struggling with anxiety. Many of us go go go and when anxiety creeps up it hits us hard. Anxiety attacks are something that can be managed by having mini check-ins with yourself. Just a few minutes to see how you feel and give yourself what you need in that moment. It could be you need a cold glass of water or a short walk out in the sun. Anything to help keep the cup from overflowing.

9. Working on improving your sleep to reduce anxiety.

Sleep is so important for our mental health, it can really help support people who are struggling with anxiety and related struggles. Honestly all struggles. Millions of people suffer from sleep deprivation, impacting their mental health and anxiety. When a person is well reset their brain is able to function in a healthier way, from cognitive processing and emotional regulation.

10. Working on improving your diet to reduce anxiety.

Just like sleep, another important lifestyle change for managing anxiety is to have a nutritious diet. Dieticians and doctors who specialize in nutrition often share the importance of eating healthy for not only a healthy body but also a healthy brain. Please speak with someone who specialize in this to get more info!

11. Establish a daily gratitude practice to reduce anxiety.

Establishing a daily practice of gratitude can rewire your brain to have more balance. Our brains naturally go looking for negatives because it is part of our biology. This is an adaptive that is meant to keep us safe. But our brains can get stuck in rumination and not be able to see thoughts as just thoughts. Instead, gratitude can help us improve our ability to err on the side of positive thinking because it rewires the neural network.

This is why I am so passionate about offering EMDR as a therapy for the clients that I work with. As an EMDR therapist practicing online in San Diego and surround areas and all over California plus in Phoenix and all over Arizona, I am not kidding you when I tell you that EMDR therapy is like magic. EMDR therapy can help your brain rewire deep neural pathways. Lots of our struggles can be tied to shame, fear, and worry about not being loved, safe, or competent.

12. Be compassionate with yourself to reduce anxiety.

Time and time again notice that the clients I work with are so hard on themselves. The guilt, the shame is really intense. This is true when working with couples and individuals. The problem is that being hard on yourself is not going to motivate you to make changes in your life that will lead to less anxiety and more happiness.

A lifestyle change of being more compassionate with yourself can really help you feel less anxious because you are constantly reminding yourself that you are human and doing the best that you can. And you have a goal to continue to grow as a human. What more can you really ask for?

13. Befriending the future you to reduce anxiety.

Anxiety is about the future, a future where something is going to go bad. This is why people will worry and stress in the present to hopefully be as prepared as possible. But the future is something we have very little control over. Sure, we can plan for our future, but life has a way of not always going according to that plan.

The lifestyle change that can help is to be kind to the future you that is going to do the best that they can. It is about having a plan and being kind to yourself when life doesn’t go the way you thought. To not beat yourself up for not being able to control the uncontrollable.

14. Allow life to unfold to reduce anxiety.

This is piggybacking off of my last example. A major lifestyle change that can help with reducing anxiety, is to release control over things that we have very little to no control over. Instead, a mindset that can help with overcoming anxiety, is to allow life to naturally unfold. If your goal is to be well-traveled or to have more solid relationships, then the efforts of today can help you get to that future version of yourself. But stressing about why that future you are not here already will only make your anxiety worse.

And sometimes life pivots and that is the beauty of it. I did not know I wanted to be a couples and trauma therapist, I didn’t even know I wanted to be a therapist at all. I allowed my life to unfold. From my early days as a swim teacher to taking random classes at college. It was all the process.

15. Untie your self-worth from work.

Untying your self-worth can really help reduce anxiety. This is a biggie that I have seen only worsen thanks to the pandemic. People place a great deal of their self-worth on being productive and working hard. Being a hard worker is equal to being a good person, it is something that is praised from our very early days as children in school. This is something that I often unpack with clients in my therapy practice as stuff like this often impacts our inner child.

But it is about balance. It is about having a full identity where work is not the biggest part of you. A simple thing I personally practice is when I meet someone for the first time, instead of asking what they do for work, I ask what they do for fun. It totally changes the vibe of the connection and the conversation.