Have you been asking yourself: Do I have OCD, Autism, or ADHD. You are not alone. This is something that I get asked all the time in my clinician therapy practice, where I work with people all over the San Diego area (all of California, really since I am a telehealth therapist) and also in the Phoenix area (all of Arizona too!) and this is something that I come across after. Not only is it something that my clients ask but it is also something that I am constantly assessing for. Lots of things in the mental health world are not as easily diagnosed. Many people can meet diagnostic criteria for a few different things. But I find time and time again, I find that OCD, Autism, ADHD and Trauma have lots of overlap. Even more so, if you have one of these diagnoses, your chances of having another diagnosis increase, in addition to being at a higher risk for a mood disorder such as depression or anxiety.

Why you need to work with a trauma informed therapist.

As a trauma therapist, I work in the San Diego area (all of California, really since I am a telehealth therapist) and also in the Phoenix area (all of Arizona too!) I see my clients through a deeper lens, where I am asking myself, is this a trauma response? Could this be related to that thing they shared? Or another thing we have yet to explore?
As a trauma therapist, I think of themes. If you had a terrible experience as a child, you might be struggling with negative thoughts that often have a theme. I work with my clients to figure out these themes because odds are they are still playing out in their day-to-day life.
Working with a trauma informed therapist will help you by getting treatment from someone who has been trained to think through a trauma lens. A trauma informed therapist will assess if what you are struggling with is related to trauma or if the symptoms that you are experiencing are related to something else.
Finding the right therapist in general is so important. It is important to ensure they have the training needed to support you in reaching your goals. This will save you time, money, and help you get to your goals faster. Plus you be able to access the right therapy treatment for your needs.

Why having an understanding and ruling out trauma is so important.

If you were abused or grew up in a home where you were raised by a distant parent, you might feel like the world isn’t safe, that you can’t ask for help, and that people will always leave you or hurt you. And remember, trauma, at least the way I view it and work with it in my therapy practice, is anything that was not nurturing. It is not about shaming or blaming anyone for how it impacted us, but instead, this allows us to own the things that are Big T trauma to be something worth healing. Even if your parent wasn’t abusive, and did the best they could, you could very well be struggling with internalized messages as a result of little t traumas. In my therapy practice, I work with people to unpack these messages and then we heal them using IFS (Internal Family Systems), Eye Movement Desensitization, and Reprocessing) EMDR, and other approaches to help support the healing.

Why having a trauma informed couples therapist is important.

If you are struggling with symptoms and it is getting in the way of the relationship you have with your partner, it is so important to work with a trauma informed couples therapist. A trauma informed couples therapist can help you both identify if this is neurodiversity, trauma , or something else. It is so important to get the right care to support the healing so that you have the relationship of your dreams. One where you feel safe and secure, not one where you feel like you and your partner are walking on egg shells.
If I am working with a couple, I often will use EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) to help couples see each other's unhealed trauma and work with one another with compassion to reduce defensiveness and be the support for one another that they desperately need. It can be scary to share what happened to us, but it can help our partner build a love map, a relationship map, where they can work with us in navigating when things get hard. All of sudden, we get more information about why our partner acts the way they do, and how to support and work with them instead of against them. This is a game-changer!
With the couples I work with, if one of the partners has ADHD, autism, or OCD, this becomes a big part of our therapy together. My main goal is to reduce shame around the person who has a diagnosis of being neurodiverse, to create a relationship where each partner is supported, and where the couple works as a team to address the diagnosis.

Time and time again, I hear the partner say they don’t mind that their partner is neurodiverse, which often brings the other partner to tears. But this, my friends, is the magic of feeling like you are a team and that your partner doesn’t hate you for your “flaws.” Instead, we work on highlighting our strengths and building a loving, compassionate relationship. Where we stay curious because it is hard to be judgmental when we are trying to be curious.

So is it neurodiversity or is it trauma?

People often ask, how do I know if I have ADHD, autism, or OCD? Or is this complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)? This is because there is overlap in the diagnosis. A trained professional, like myself, can support you in identifying what diagnosis you might have. Even though I do give people diagnoses, normally I am not a fan of labels, as I often then they are prematurely given and can be shaming It puts people in the “other” category. But I will say that having a diagnosis can help give us direction for treatment in therapy. I also caution my clients to always stay curious about their diagnoses. Because it can change and even go into remission. Plus people can live a happy and healthy life with the right treatment and support, regardless of a label.

Lots of people no longer meet the criteria for the diagnosis they received, years later. Treatment often helps and so do lifestyle changes. Also, we might wonder, if it was really OCD, Autism, or ADHD, or was it really trauma (complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)). Again I urge you to reach out to a professional fr guidance. You can work with a therapist, like me, who has training and knowledge in working with issues related to OCD, Autism, or ADHD. Or you can go and receive testing from a psychologist who can do extensive testing to help you come to some answers when you find yourself asking, OCD, Autism, or ADH? Or is this trauma?

Sometimes I will be working with a client in my private therapy practice where I serve the San Diego area (all of California, really since I am a telehealth therapist) and also in the Phoenix area (all of Arizona too!) and I come to a point where I am not sure. This is where I refer someone to seek out more testing and where I collaborate with other trusted professionals. As a therapist, I know how important it is to help you find the answers so that we can start working towards a life where you are thriving.

If you are interested in hearing more about EMDR therapy, couples therapy, or inner child therapy, please reach out!

With Warmth,

Elisa Blair