Imposter syndrome keeps thousands of people stuck in their heads and feeling like they are not good enough. Imposter syndrome is not a diagnosable mental health condition but it is something that many people use to name a cluster of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that can be similar to anxiety. Imposter syndrome can be defined as feeling like you are not a good enough person for the job at hand. And a job really can mean lots of different things, from a traditional career to being a guest speaker, to being a business owner, and to being a parent.

Imposter Syndrome is something that affects thousands of people.

Imposter syndrome can have huge impacts on your health, both physical and mental. People often report that they struggle with anxiety, depression, and lots of intrusive thoughts. They are worried people will judge them for not being qualified enough, despite being qualified. It is also common for people to report that they have somatic symptoms or body symptoms when they are struggling with imposter syndrome. People will report stomach issues, pressure on their chest and shoulders, poor appetite, and trouble with sleep. Struggling with imposter syndrome is something that can really impact a person and it is worth seeking out support.

Where does imposter syndrome come from?

Mental health professionals aren’t entirely sure but a good guess is that imposter syndrome has its roots in our childhood. Genetics may also play a role. Some people believe that certain environmental conditions plus genetics means higher chances for imposter syndrome. Kiddos that come from a high-stress home with pressure to perform well in school and sports, with little support can impact a child to feel like they are not doing enough to meet the standards that keep the adults happy.

There are common “roles” that kiddos find themselves in that can increase the chances of suffering from imposter syndrome as an adult. Do any of these resonate for you?

The hard worker one
The intelligent one
The athletic one
The peacekeeper one
The caregiver one

The roles listed above can have big impacts on kiddo and can lead to them becoming an adult who is still acting from these roles. This can then impact the quality of relationships that they have and their ability to feel like they are good enough. Something I hear lots of my clients share is that they feel like a fraud and that someone is going to figure them out. That the world as they know it will come crashing down. But the thing is that the clients who often share this are often very skilled and very much not an imposter.

This is why therapy with a trauma-informed approach can be so helpful when it comes to supporting people who really struggle to feel like they are good enough, that they are competent, and deserving of the rewards from all their hard work. EMDR and IFS as well as other trauma approaches, can help a person connect with deep thoughts that are fueling their imposter syndrome. The great thing is that the brain is able to heal and form new, more adaptive connections. A thought of I am not being good enough becomes a thought that I am good enough, regardless. The thought of I suck and fail all the time becomes I am always learning and growing.

Children who have high pressure often become anxious and become adults who have to continue to achieve tons in order to feel deserving of love. This is something that is often deep and not also so evident. This is why deeper therapies like EMDR and IFS can help support people in rewiring their nervous systems to heal these deep childhood stressors and traumas. You might be thinking, wait Elisa I wasn’t traumatized. And maybe in the traditional sense, you weren’t. But if we define trauma as any that is not nurturing. Then we really start to see just how much our nervous system has had to deal with as a child (an onward). And as adults, we owe it to ourselves to heal and let stuff go. To make space for an easier way of doing life.

Imposter syndrome often has its roots in childhood.

Which can then turn into an adult who feels the need to do more, to perform more, to be more. Rest is something that is seen as a waste of time. Rest is seen as something that is a waste of time or something to be earned. This can lead to poor work-life balance and poor mental health. Below I want to share things you can do starting now to help heal your imposter syndrome.

11 ways how to overcome imposter syndrome

See anxiety as being natural because you care
Think of 3 times when this fear or worry was not true
Get clear about what you can and cannot control
Know when to call it quits and rest
How you talk to yourself today impacts how you will feel tomorrow
What would you tell a friend?
Explore the difference between reflecting and ruminating
Get to know your triggers
Come up with a morning routine
Come up with a nighttime routine
Remember that you are human

I want to unpack how each one of these strategies can help you overcome or at least manage your imposter syndrome.

See anxiety as being natural because you care

Imposter syndrome is highly connected to anxiety. And we can slow down and see that anxiety makes sense when you are doing something you care about. You want to be good at your job, you want to be a good friend, you want to be a good parent. It makes sense that you would worry and stress. Normalizing this is the first step.

Think of 3 times when this fear or worry was not true

Just because you feel something does not mean it is true. Feelings are not facts. Valid, yes. But not facts. It is helpful to challenge yourself to think about 3 times when the opposite was true. Doing so, can help you build up the adaptive or positive side of your brain.

Get clear about what you can and cannot control

More often than not we stress about things that we cannot control. Once we realize what is actually in our control then we free up our energy. We no longer fake control by stressing over the uncontrollable.

Know when to call it quits and rest

This one is hard for a lot of people. I don’t blame us. We live in a hustle culture and we are taught from a young age to be productive. But rest is resistance.

How you talk to yourself today impacts how you will feel tomorrow

Be compassionate with yourself. Be gentle and loving. Being mean will impact how you feel tomorrow. Easier said than done, I know. This is why reaching out for support is so helpful.

What would you tell a friend?

We are often way nicer to our friends than we are to ourselves. We have the tools to be nice, we just have to apply it to ourselves.

Explore the difference between reflecting and ruminating

As a therapist, I encourage people to reflect often. To take inventory of what is working and what is not working. But ruminating on what went wrong is not going to help. You are only going to create more self-hate.

Get to know your triggers

Our triggers are great at giving us information. We might be upset with ourselves, but projecting onto others. We might not be putting ourselves first and being mindful of our boundaries.

Come up with a morning routine

How do you want to ease into your day? What is the mood you want for the day? The first few hours and how you spend your morning can really impact the vibe you create for the rest of the day.

Come up with a nighttime routine

A solid nighttime routine can set you up for a restful night. Good sleep has a huge impact on our mental health. Sleep is important when you want to manage your imposter syndrome.

Remember that you are human

In a society where so much is expected from us, it is important to remember that you are only human. And that you are doing the best that you can. Being compassionate will take you further than being hard on yourself.

I hope these tips and strategies help you when it comes to taming your imposter syndrome. Please reach out for support, you do not have to go this alone.

With Warmth,

Elisa Blair